4 Ways to Instill Lakas ng Loob in Your Child
As your kids become more independent, kailangan na natin silang turuan about standing on their own feet
Kumusta na ang mga bagets, mommies? It’s so hard to believe na ang laki na nila! Your role as their main support system is now more important—but also harder—than ever. As your kids become more independent, kailangan na natin silang turuan about standing on their own feet.
After all, ‘yun naman talaga ang goal nating mga magulang: to raise our kids to be emotionally strong people who have grit and fortitude.
Pero paano nga ba ituro ang pagiging self-reliant and resilient sa mga kids? Kuhang kuha ito ng mga taga-Finland. See, they have this concept called sisu. The Finnish roughly define this as “inner strength.” In other words, ito ‘yung pagiging matatag ang loob sa harap ng mga pagsubok.
It’s no wonder na ang Finland ay kilala bilang “happiest country in the world”. One of the reasons for this is that Finnish children grow up to have a strong sense of self. Secure sila sa sarili nila so they don’t see the need to compete with others. This helps them stay progressive when they’re dealing with anything in life. Malalakas ang loob nila kasi they stay true to themselves.
By giving our kids the tools to have this sisu, sinisigurado nating they can face whatever life throws at them. Read on for tips on how we can teach our kids to be strong and pick themselves up whenever they fall.
Make sure they have a strong support system.
Ang role nitong group na ito—whether they’re within or outside your family—ay maging morale boosters for your children. Malaking bagay ito sa pagpapalaki ng kids who have grit. According to Katherine MacFarlane, isang registered psychologist, sa sinulat niyang Strategies to Promote Resilience in Children, children need trusted adults “who can provide reassurance, [encouragement] to keep persevering, and identify the child’s strengths that could help overcome the challenge.”
Ang cheering squad, hindi lang pang Olympics! Importante rin ‘yan sa pagpapalakas ng loob ng kids natin.
Give them chores to do.
Yes, moms, pagtrabahuhin natin ang kids! Basta age-appropriate ang chores, ha. This child-rearing strategy to establish a sense of responsibility and accountability in children should be universal and timeless.
Pati schools, naniniwala dito. In fact, ‘yan ang isa sa mga building blocks ng Montessori education. In an article by Casa Dei Bambini Montessori School in London, Marty Rossmann, Professor Emeritus at the University of Minnesota writes, “Giving children household chores at an early age helps to build a lasting sense of mastery, responsibility and self-reliance.”
‘Yung mga bagets sa Finland, sanay sa household chores. It’s even mandated by the Finnish education system as part of their curriculum. This contributes to their fortitude; their sisu.
Raise them to be well-rounded.
Sa pagpapalaki natin ng kids, hindi lang dapat puro play o puro school. Kailangan may balance. Kasi how else can children learn to control their emotions, be smart, and value exercise—all of which they need to develop inner strength—if their growth is one-dimensional?
A child who is healthy in all aspects of their life is a physically, emotionally, and socially strong one. So paano nga ba gumawa ng balance sa pagpapalaki ng isang bata?
First, you have to create a consistent environment of learning. Nurture their curiosity para sila mismo ang mag-explore ng iba’t ibang opportunities for themselves.
Second, enable their decision-making skills. ‘Di ba nakakalagas ng hair kapag hindi makapag-decide ‘yung kasama mo kung saan kayo mag-o-order ng takeout? Making decisions empowers kids, pushing them to be stronger.
And third, encourage special skills. Taekwondo ba ang type ng kids mo? Or maybe painting? Dancing kaya? Anuman ang nahihiligan ng bagets, go lang (as long as it’s within reason). Support their hobby and pick up your own. Living in a house where everyone is well-rounded is a huge motivation for your kids to pursue varied interests.
Let your children pick themselves up—don’t hover.
Kapag nadapa ang anak natin, what’s our instinctive reaction, moms? ‘Di ba pulutin sila agad at i-kiss ang ouchie?
It doesn’t work that way with Finnish children and parents. Sa Finland, laos ang mga helicopter parents. Over there, pre-schoolers are already cooking their own snacks and commuting to school on their own.
Of course, iba ang lagay ng buhay doon at dito. But we can still practice to give our children room to grow in our own ways. For example, next time na madapa ang anak mo, hintayin mo muna siyang tumayo ulit bago ka mag-panic. Or when they can’t understand a lesson for school, bigyan mo muna sila ng time to try to figure it out on their own.
Only by giving our children opportunities to overcome difficulties this early can they develop vital inner strength. Sabi nga ng child counselor na si Sunita Ramkumar in her article How to Raise Kids with Virtually Indestructible Inner Strength, “We need not wait for a trauma or challenge in our children’s lives before we train them on how to deal with it.”
Sa panahong ito, moms, napakahalaga ng inner strength. Ibigay natin ito sa ating kids so they can have happy and fulfilling lives even as adults.
• Learning Links, Strategies to Promote Resilience in Children, 2021
• Casa Dei Bambini Montessori School, Opinion—The Many Benefits of Household Chores for Children, 2021
• Aleteia, The Surprising Subject that Finnish Teens Still Study, 21 December 2019
• Taught by Finland, Finland: Where the Helicopter Parent is an Unknown Species, 5 June 2015
• A Fine Parent, How to Raise Kids with Virtually Indestructible Inner Strength, 2021