After having a child, married couples’ relationships often take a backseat, and that is normal.
More and more couples let too much time pass before trying to reconnect with each other. Others don't ever rebalance the family dynamics to prioritize the relationship of the couple.
Relationships at ends of disconnection result in never coming back together sufficiently after having children. Couples going through the motions of raising their children and balancing their jobs and life often get their relationship knocked to the bottom of their priorities. They seek balance, but often forget to factor in the very foundation of their family – them!
Here are reminders to help couples balance their married life and kids for a stronger partnership:
- Never forget that you were a couple before you were parents. Ensure that you have intimate time for each other. Don’t let parenting consume your relationship. This is a lesson worth carrying throughout the ups and downs of raising children.
- Vocalize and listen to each other’s concerns. Be open and honest with each other. Get your feelings out into the open, or else you’ll find the stresses of parenting plus those locked-up emotions playing seesaw with your relationship. Remember that you have each other to depend on and learn to support each other.
- Seek the experiences of family and friends who are parents themselves. All married couples face similar stresses and issues when having children. Many have learned from their experiences and mistakes.
- Give compliments when you can. These small words of affirmation lets your spouse know that they’re doing something right.
- Pick your battles. Not everything has to be fight. Reflect about things that do matter and that don’t. Having to fight everyday will cause stress and off-put your relationship.
- Consider parenting and career objectives. While both of you working might provide more financial stability, consider how it could affect your child’s development. Be certain to count all the costs, both tangible and intangible, before making the decision for both of you to engage in employment.
Maintaining a healthy marriage will model a healthy relationship for your children. Rather than feeling guilty about going out with your spouse and leaving the kids behind, be sure to remind them that parents need time alone together, too. This will teach them an invaluable lesson of the importance of intimate adult relationships.