How to Stay Close as a Couple Even After kids
The honeymoon phase is over. You are now starting a family - and you might notice some changes in your partner. Here are tips on how to keep the spark alive.
“I feel tired.” “Can we talk about it later?” Does this sound familiar to you? Wives may feel that their husbands are distant or distracted. Husbands, on the other hand, may be shocked by their wives’ sudden mood swings even on a seemingly fine, normal day. “She’s turning into a Momster and it isn’t even that time of the month.”
Parenting is hard. Tired couples -- exhausted by the demands of juggling a job, housework, childcare, and other issues – sometimes take out their bad mood on each other. Sometimes, we zone out and ignore each other, not because we don’t care but because we simple have no more energy left.
This can lead to miscommunication, and a feeling of being taken for granted. How can couples avoid this, nurture their relationship and sneak in valuable couple time? Allow me to share just some of the things that I and the wifey do at home so we always bond and reconnect even on busy days.
Trip to the Grocery
The supermarket may sound like a boring “romantic destination” but my wife and I enjoy doing the groceries together.
Tip: add some of your partner’s guilty pleasures to your cart without him or her noticing. It can be chocolates or ice cream, or a favorite shampoo. It will be a happy surprise when you unpack the shopping bags at home.
Have breakfast in bed
Do this every weekend, or at least once a month. You can cook a special breakfast or keep it simple with pandesal, palaman, and coffee. If you can’t have breakfast in bed, at least go out and have a quiet breakfast alone together.
Tip: Leave a love note on the breakfast tray. You can keep a notepad handy and list down things like "10 things that I Love about You” – or even something you don’t like. This can help you have open, honest communication about your relationship.
Look at old photographs
Most of our pictures are now stored on mobile phones or computers. Print out some of your favorites and put it in a photo album. Those photos are special and have stories to tell. Once in a while, look at albums together and reminisce. Let the happy memories help you time travel to your first date, early months after marriage, and other precious milestones.
Chillax Conversation over Wine and Cheese + Your songs
A great relationship involves great communication. Simple conversations about your day at work or favorite TV shows do matter. Level up this simple bonding moment with a simple wine and cheese platter. Arrange on a wooden chopping board or a fancy plate. Play your favorite songs on your speakers. You can include nostalgic songs from when you were dating or your wedding. Feel free to dance the night away!
Play Games Together
Board games, video games, sports – choose what you like! I am into board games and sports, and my wife is into video games. We are both competitive and always up for a good challenge. I took the time to learn her favorite video games, and she learned to play badminton and chess. Playing games together can be so much fun, and may even be part of your workout routine! A friendly reminder: Let your partner win once in a while!
Fun Videoke Night at Home + Cheat Day:
My wife and I love music and we love singing! We set up the videoke, and prepare snacks and drinks. ON that day, we disregard diets and make it our “cheat” day. For extra fun, have prizes ready for the highest scorer.
Movie Date Night at Home + Cuddles and Chill
We love watching movies, but my wife doesn’t like going to movie theaters. That’s why we bought a mini projector (less than P2000 on an online selling platform) to recreate the vintage theater ambiance. On movie night, she prepares snacks and drinks (unlimited popcorn!) while I set up the projector and speaker for surround sound.
This is a much better movie bonding experience. We don’t have to deal with the traffic, and aside from being practical, we get free cuddles and chill till we doze off in the comfort of our home.
You need to make time
Busy couples will rarely “have” time, but the point is that you need to “make” time. Schedule it, and make it happen. Do this regularly and you’ll be able to stay close and connected. If you have tips and tricks on how you stay close to your partner, feel free to share in the comments section.
About The Writer
Oscar has been a full-time IT professional for over 10 years, and has extensive hands-on experience in managing IT and Network infrastructure and Cloud-based Systems and Applications. Aside from working in private companies, he is also a part-time blogger/content creator -- aka DaddyO! He has been married for 13 years and is blessed with three beautiful children, who they homeschool. In his free time, he likes joining fun runs and plays badminton to keep healthy. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn.
The views and opinions expressed by the writer are his/her own, and does not state or reflect those of Wyeth Nutrition and its principals.