The Stay-At-Home Mom: The Pressure of Being “Mom” as a Sole Occupation
While it may bring us much joy to spend a lot more time with the family, being a stay-at-home mom does become overwhelming at times. Here are a few tips to lessen - if not remove - the pressure that comes alongside this occupation!
Stay-at-home mom (SAHM) – many moms would love to be this one. Imagine being with your kid all day, not worrying about work and deadlines. Doesn’t it seem like the perfect set-up? But little do non-SAHMs know… it’s not JUST about being a housewife. In this article, I will be sharing an insider’s point-of-view on being a stay-at-home mom alongside some tips to make the most out of being one!
To enjoy being a stay-at-home mom, reduce if not remove pressure through these tips:
- Set the goal: To be a stay-at-home mom. I always planned on resigning from my corporate job once my eldest was born, and that’s exactly what I did. I got married at 27, tried working in the corporate world and was ready to make a shift at 29 when I became a mom to Raf. I loved it! I made it a personal goal to be a stay-at-home mom and be more present with the kids, just the way my own mom was like with my siblings and I.
- Learn to delegate and prioritize. I still relied on our kasambahays when it came to household chores and attending to the needs of my children. But, I made it a point to actively engage myself in activities that allow me to significantly connect with my kids – such as bathing and feeding. I was the “frontliner”, so to speak, and our helpers would assist in preparing the bath, cleaning up, or preparing meals.
- Have a support group of stay-at-home moms. I did not miss the corporate life as much as I thought I would. This is largely because of a new group of friends, all stay-at-home moms too, that I got to be a part of. In our group, we get to discuss topics such as household and children’s activities, and even adult talk. The key to getting adjusted to staying at home is your desire to do so. You also need to decide if you want to be a full-time stay-at-home mom with yayas or no yayas. In my case, I knew that I needed an extra hand. I hear some stay-at-home moms do everything – and good for them! It is important to know yourself and fully believe the concept, otherwise you may find yourself feeling bad about not earning a salary, not getting to go on happy-hours, or not being able to attend business meetings in and out of town. I had enough of that life, so I was ready to embrace the stay-at-home lifestyle.
- Try a part-time job. My husband Allan suggested that I do some part-time work. I realized then that since he was a doctor starting out in his field, I may need to help with our finances at home. From there, I decided to volunteer at the Center for Family Ministries, offering to help Fr. Ruben Tanseco, SJ, even for just 3 hours a day. Oh yes, it was a nice break! Unknowingly, that was the start of my career in Parenting and Relationships. My fellow stay-at-home moms started baking and selling their goods while some became part-time consultants.
- Join playdates and chat rooms for moms. My stay-at-home mom friends met up 2 to 3 times a week with our kids. We held play dates in any one of our homes, with activities ranging from games, a sand box, or a swimming pool in the summer. This way, we had a break from the kids and they also developed their social skills. We planned out affordable but fun activities with the kids, granting us time to de-stress and care for ourselves as well.
- Set realistic financial goals and simplify. Leaving the corporate world caused a huge cut in our family income. But since we knew it was coming, we prepared for it beforehand. Garage sales were one of our favorite ways to earn extra money, and the kids loved it!
- Learn effective parenting. Raf was 2 years old when Allan and I attended 4 Friday evenings of 3 hour-lessons on effective parenting. Staying at home means equipping yourself with more knowledge and skills in taking care of the kids. So parenting was fun since I knew how to manage a challenging son like Raf! Just like in the corporate world, we get yearly training. Yes, we all need training for parenting and marriage maintenance too. Looking back, the information I learned definitely helped me enjoy my kids and hubby more.
Any kind of job will have perks and pressure. The stay-at-home mom lifestyle has its own perks…focus on those perks. It was worth it for me!
About The Expert
Maribel Sison Dionisio, MA, Family, Relationship & Marriage Expert
Maribel, a Relationship and Parenting Consultant for over 25 years has co-authored books, like “Helping our Children do Well in School, Growing up Wired” and “I’ve been Dating…now what?”. She was a contributor and the Parenting Expert of Wyeth’s Nurture Network from 2010 to 2018. Maribel is a regular Parenting Expert for various TV and radio programs, like Radyo Singko’s Relasyon and ABS-CBN’s Umagang Kay Ganda. Maribel served as a Judge for the Jollibee Family Values Award.
In 2008, she set-up AMD Love Consultants for Families and Couples. She worked at the Center for Family Ministries and trained as an Imago Therapist of the Imago Relationships International, New York. Maribel and husband, Allan, are both graduates of the Family Ministry course, Ateneo de Manila. They prepare couples for marriage in the Discovery Weekend and are columnists for the Feast Magazine. They have co-authored two relationship books, Thinking of Marriage and Teen Crush. Allan and Maribel, happily married for 36 years, have 3 children, Rafael, David, and Angelica.
The views and opinions expressed by the writer are his/her own, and does not state or reflect those of Wyeth Nutrition and its principals.